So when I started medical school, I was pumped. I was ready to learn, do well in school, and become a great doctor. And then..classes started and the exams piled on, and this sentiment quickly dissipated. When I heard that medical school was difficult, I had no idea just how difficult it would be. It's not only the shear amount of information we're required to learn, but also the stress of learning how to be a "good doctor", trying to make an impression on our superiors so that we can get good letters later on, and basically staying alive.
There have been many studies that have looked into the high rate of depression among medical students and residents. Yet, despite these studies, the administration doesn't seem to really do much to help alleviate this stress. Maybe we all need to suck it up and push through?
Despite the stress and negative affect on social lives, I feel like it will definitely be worth it in the end. It all depends on what the ultimate motivation and goal for becoming a doctor is. Unfortunately, living the good life and getting paid an insane amount of money is no longer enough to motivate someone to go through medical school, because the average debt for medical students is around $150 K, and it takes an average of 15-20 years to pay off this debt (due to interest and the small amount of pay for residents).
My motivation truly stems from the desire to make a difference, no matter how small, in the world. The few opportunities that I have had to interact with patients, especially those who come from underserved communities, remind me why I am working my butt off to help others. When I worked in Baltimore over the summer, I was surprised by the huge disparity in health care access among Americans. We always talk about how Americans have the health care of third world nations, but yet, even within America, there is an endless number of communities that suffer from either poor or lack of health care. I hope I do not get jaded though by medical school and cop out in the end (and go into a specialty in which physicians get paid a lot but don't really do much). My goal is to ultimately go on a number of medical missions trips during my career. I'm also planning to go into academic medicine so that I can have an impact on future physicians and on the improvement of methods to educate the future. These are all dreams for now, but hopefully one day, I will be able to live it.
I don't know what field of medicine you're planning on going into, and for many people that does change. I've seen one friend become so jaded by ward teams that he's now decided to go into pathology. I mean, seriously, PATHOLOGY! (Not that I have anything against pathologists.)
ReplyDeleteThat said, what sustains me is to just take a moment at the end of the week or the end of the rotation and reflect what you've done. Just imagine, how few people in the world have the privilege (and I do feel it's a privilege) to do surgery and their hands in another person's body? How few people get to deliver babies? How few people can look a parent in the eye and say their kid will be okay and be 99.9% right? Despite the lack of sleep and being constantly worn down, it's still fucking amazing.
I used to want to do academic medicine and teach med students and do research. That all but withered and died. I'd rather be a community physician who has students rotate with me in my clinic, so I can spend quality one-on-one time with each of them rather than never really getting to know students and what makes them tick.