..well, currently, are "I am gay". And they aren't that hard to say to peers, but I've been having the hardest time telling this to my parents.
When I was contemplating coming out 1 1/2 years ago, I thought telling my parents would be pretty easy. They have always been supportive of me, no matter what I wanted to pursue, and they are pretty open minded. I guess there are a number of reasons why I haven't had the balls to come out to them.
Even though I consider their viewpoints to be fairly liberal, they are also very traditional when it comes to certain Korean values and ideals.
Unfortunately, the Korean community is very slow when it comes to being open minded about homosexuality. I basically grew up with the idea that gays didn't exist, or at least in Korea they didn't. It was (and in some parts still is) such a taboo topic, so there was no one I could talk to about my own feelings. The mixture of homophobia with Korean culture, especially in NY, is also something that makes this difficult. Even if my parents were ok with it, I'm not sure how they would feel about other people (family friends) knowing. The Korean community is very infamous for being gossipy and in a matter of days, I feel like news would spread like fire. I've had a couple of conversations with my parents awhile ago on what they
thought about the gay community, and they were both pretty chill about
it. In their opinion, if two people, regardless of sex, love each other, then that's that.
But I have a feeling that things might be different if it was actually
someone they know personally.
Finally, I just want to avoid the discussion in general. I don't think I would be able to see the disappointment and shock on their faces when I tell them the news. It also doesn't help that my older sister recently got married, and they've been asking me nonstop when I am going to (I'm only 23!!). The expectations of grandchildren is also there (I mean I want a family but I guess the options are more limited). It's also harder to tell them the news in Korean (they aren't that fluent in English) because I wouldn't know the right words to say in Korean. I consider myself to be pretty fluent, but it's hard to give long explanations (and I think a topic like this requires them). Perhaps I will write them a letter...or is that too impersonal?
Anyone have any thoughts and/or suggestions?
It's a tough thing, unfortunately. For me, if there's no "immediate" reason (e.g. I don't have a boyfriend), I don't really feel the urgency to tell. That said, I'm also waiting until I'm into residency and am completely financially independent before I can say those words without any repercussions (not that I'm expecting any, just in case).
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