I'm alive!

Wow I realized that I haven't written here in a longgg time. Somehow it's already the second week of July =O.
I don't even know where to begin to update everyone (yes, the many many people who read this haha). I'll just try to break it down by topic?

School
I'm finally a fourth year! I'm currently on my sub-internship right now, which basically means I act like an intern but I still don't get paid and I'm still getting evaluated haha. I'm having a lot of fun though cause I have a lot more responsibilities, like putting in orders for patients. It's pretty tiring though, cause I'm working 12+ hours a day and 6 days a week, including holidays! Just 3 more weeks to go....
I'm definitely nervous about applying to residencies. I don't wanna shoot for the stars too much, but I definitely want to go to a top medicine program, which is gonna take some luck. I feel like I did pretty well my third year (got all honors except for a high pass in surgery) but so do a lot of other third years, especially the ones in my class applying to internal med like me. I guess most of the things are out of my control now and I have to hope that I somehow get interviews.

Dating (?) Life
So I think last time I was all worried about contracting HIV, and I got tested since then, with negative results (thank the lord!). I also ended up dating an awesome guy for a short time but due to differences in where we were in life (I'm still in med school, he's a millionaire who had lots of free time) and because of the fact that I had so little time with school. I'm also beginning to think I suck at being in a relationship. I guess I'm just not the type of guy who needs to text/call someone I like every day to see how they're doing. Is that because I haven't found someone I really like? Or am I just a heartless bastard? bleh. So yea, for now, I am very much single, and focusing a lot more on school (not like I have a choice)

Fitness

Even though I've been busy with school/rotations, I've definitely made it a priority to go to the gym. I get up at like 430 to go to the gym before I go into the hospital. Might sound crazy, but I know that if I get into the routine of not going to the gym, it would be really hard for me to start again. I'm still having trouble with gaining mass but oh well, at least I'm not becoming a couch potato and gaining bad weight. It's probably cause I haven't been able to eat much, as evidenced by the fact that my stomach always growls during rounds haha. Here's a pic I took last week (yes, I know it's douche-y but I like to document my progress, or lack thereof).


Alright I think that's enough updates for now, I'm gonna take another nap cause it's my day off. Actually it's time for me to watch tennis for hours cause I'm obsessed and haven't been able to watch a single match all week. I'll do my best to post more often!

Much needed break

I'm glad that for the next two weeks, I can pretty much do nothing and not worry about school. It's shocking to know that third year is exactly half over with. I'm definitely proud of how I'm doing so far in third year (managed to get honors in all my rotations so far, although I still have surgery, ob/gyn, and psych left) and I would really wanna end third year with all honors, but that's easier said than done.

Right before winter break started, we basically had a week of lectures that kept emphasizing planning for fourth year and applying for residencies...it was stressful to say the least. All these talks about ranking, importance of grades, when to take step 2, etc. got me (and the rest of the class) pretty stressed out. It also motivated me to work harder so that I can get an internal med residency in the city (I'm really hoping for either NYU or Mount Sinai). I've also pretty much decided on IM after eliminating emergency med and anesthesiology from my list. Unless I fall in love with surgery (which I don't see happening) I think IM-->GI is the path for me.

I've also been pretty good about working out on a very consistent basis...but I'm not sure if I'm getting any results! It's sorta upsetting. I'll have to post pictures later and maybe you guys can tell me if there have been any changes since the previous one!

In regards to my dating life, I actually met up with the guy I blogged about before! It was a pretty short hangout because we were both busy with our respective lives, but it was also fun to hangout. The only thing I'm worried about is the fact that our relationship might be heading towards the friends with benefits realm...which is something I wanna avoid. Both times we've hungout, we've ended up hooking up (not going all the way, but pretty much lol). I mean I have no complaints about it cause it was hot (and he's hot) but I wonder if we're just hanging out so that we hook up. Oh well I guess I have to see what the future holds. We told each other that the next time we hangout, it'll be handsoff haha. I wonder how that'll workout.

So yea, for the next two weeks, I'm planning to sleep many hours, hangout with friends, eat tons of food, workout a lot, and do some leisure reading. I'm excited!

Can't believe it's almost December!

So third year is almost halfway done....can't believe it went by so quickly! I'm currently on my emergency medicine rotation, and I thought I would have liked it more than I do. I guess a part of it is getting used to the flow of the emergency room and the fact that we only have 2 weeks on the rotation (8 shifts). It also doesn't help that we have to get an evaluation from an attending/resident every single shift. Why can't I just learn without being evaluated all the time?!

I did get some good news today, ended up getting an honors in my Medicine rotation! I was pleasantly surprised cause that rotation was hard as hell, some residents/attendings gave me average evaluations, and the shelf exam was seriously harder than any exam I had ever taken (I think harder/more random than step 1). I'm still waiting for my ambulatory (primary care) grade, and obviously I'm hoping that I get an honors there too. I guess I'm pretty stoked cause most of my grades in second year were just "pass" and I think my strengths lie in talking to people/interacting with people rather than studying and taking exams that determine my entire grade. I still have 3 more core rotations to go through so let's hope that the momentum carries over.

Since the last time I wrote, I also had a great date with a guy. The only thing is, I have no idea where things are going with him. He actually came over to my place for our first meeting (yea I know, pretty bold) but as soon as we sat down on my couch, it just felt incredibly comfortable, like I've known this guy for much longer. We did end up fooling around a little bit even though I told myself to take things very slow...but I guess we just got caught up in the moment. The thing that sucks is that both our schedules are so busy that we haven't been able to meet up again. We do still talk, but not as much as we used to and I guess I'm just afraid that he's lost interest (cause I sure haven't). I hate getting my hopes up though, and even though I would love to have this guy as my future boyfriend, I know that relationships take a lot more work than just two people liking each other. It also doesn't help that he lives pretty far. Oh well, I guess I'll see how it goes (and prevent myself from getting too attached, which is what usually happens).

I hope everyone had a great thanksgiving break! I think I took ~3 naps on thanksgiving day, and it was glorious! I've never slept that much in a long time. It was nice to just relax and enjoy good company with my family while eating great food. Unfortunately, my break got cut short cause they scheduled me to do two ER shifts this past weekend. Sorta sucked cause I had a lot of plans with friends from back home, but what are you gonna do? I've also been hitting the gym a lot more lately. I gave in and started taking creatine cause I feel like I've hit a plateau and haven't been able to gain anymore weight after hitting 150-155 pounds. This is what my body looked like a month ago (warning, another tool picture coming up)-->
Hopefully there will be some changes in a couple of months!

Alright, until the next update!

Sandy, the homewrecker...and other updates (warning, long post)

So as most people across the nation know, the northeast was hit pretty hard by hurricane/tropical storm Sandy. I feel like a lot of people didn't take it too seriously before it hit because there was a lot of hype with hurricane Irene last year..and that wasn't as bad as people thought it would be. Unfortunately, Sandy hit hard, and I feel that a lot of people weren't prepared/expecting it (including myself). I found out late Sunday that my clinical duties for Mon/Tues were cancelled (I'm working in outpatient/primary care at an endocrinology clinic right now) so I was definitely happy cause I still need time to study for the ambulatory and internal med shelfs (standardized exams at the end of rotations). The rain/wind wasn't too bad Sunday night, and Monday morning, I even went to the gym so get a last minute workout in, just in case it wasn't open the following days (and there were actually a lot of people who were at the gym haha). In the afternoon, a few friends came over to study and chill, and at about 4 PM, all the power just went out. I really wasn't prepared because I had one candle, one flashlight, and a ton of (perishable) food in the fridge that I didn't anticipate going bad. I still kept on thinking that the power would come back soon..but it never happened. Turns out, most of LI lost power, the hospital lost power for a short period, which also meant no studying for awhile.

It definitely felt weird being isolated from the outside world with no internet/tv, not knowing really what was going on in the rest of the northeast region. Of course I was pretty antsy all night long, but it felt really good to just not care about anything, and instead, talk to friends and watch movies all night long. I ended up coming back home to queens yesterday cause my parents still had power, and I'm still waiting to see if I have work tomorrow (the clinic still doesn't have power). In the meantime, I'm enjoying some home cooked meals and getting some productive studying in.

The last time I updated, I was still on Internal Medicine (IM). I gotta say..I really enjoyed it. Yea it was a lot of work, and yea there were lots of pimping sessions (where attendings ask students tons of questions and put them on the spot), but I didn't mind it at all. I realized that I really enjoyed IM when I didn't mind staying till 8/9 PM for the shifts. I also realized that I really want to go into gastroenterology. I had a lot of exposure to the field during my rotation and got to see some cool procedures. It's supposed to be a competitive field so I'm trying to get a head start and become involved in some research, which has been hard to do with my third year schedule. One thing that I really hated about IM was the fact that grading seemed so subjective and based on luck. When I would get verbal feedback from my residents/attendings, they would tell me I'm doing a great job and wouldn't really tell me things I should improve on, but in the written evals that count towards my grade, they would only give me a pass or high pass...and some would tell me that they don't give out higher than high passes....Perhaps I'm being too whiny about this, but I know that I want to go into a fairly competitive program in NYC, and I know third year grades matter a lot (basically getting honors). So yea, I guess I just need to rock the hell out of the shelf exam to even have a shot at getting an honors in IM.

In regards to my dating life, it's still been nonexistent. Well not completely. I've been talking to a couple of guys online/texts and we were actually supposed to meet up this week, but due to the hurricane, had to cancel everything. And I guess everyone's priorities revolve around getting power back/cleaning things around/outside the house, so who knows when I'll go on another date. I also met a guy online who ended up coming over to my place (after we talked for weeks)...but I'll have to save that story for another time haha.

Updates

So it's been awhile since I've last written on this. I guess the most effective way to just jot down what's been going on with my life would be to break it down.
Boards (step 1):
Last time I wrote, I began studying for the boards. It was seriously the most intense 5 week period of studying I've ever been through. There were also a number of instances when I really questioned my desire to become a physician. I'm glad I was able to make it through though. I actually got my score two days ago. Ended up getting a 236, which is semi-respectable I guess(?) but it was also slightly disappointing considering how much I studied and how I did on the practice exams. But I'll take my score any day. Now that that component of my residency application has been determined, I'll just have to work hard on the components I can fix.
School/Third Year:
I started my rotations two weeks ago. I wanted to start off with a not as demanding rotation, and a rotation I wasn't too interested in...so I started with pediatrics. I haven't seen too many interesting cases, also because the hospital I'm working at is...kinda crappy. There aren't that many patients on the floor (i'm doing inpatient first) so it's just a lot of standing around. I'll probably comment on the politics of third year/rotations as the year goes on (trying to impress people, always been cautious, etc.). In general though I am happy that I started third year and can actually work with patients now. I am pretty exhausted though at the end of the day, but supposedly we should be studying a couple of hours a day to perform well on the shelf exam =/.
Personal Life/Love Life (or lack thereof):
For some of the rotations, I'm actually living at home in Queens so I guess there are more options to meet guys/go on dates...but the limiting factor is still lack of time. The only free time I get is the weekends...and even then I should be studying or sometimes I have weekend calls...so yea it's been difficult. I am glad that I get to see my hometown friends a lot more though cause I've always been out of the loop for the past two years while living near my med school. I'm just hoping that my dating life actually starts off sometime soon...here's to wishful thinking!