So I finished my pediatrics rotations last week (with an incredibly hard shelf exam) and had a very very hectic weekend. I literally partied with my school friends from 2 pm till like 4 am on Friday, lost my voice afterwards, had to volunteer during the day on Saturday, and then went into the city Saturday night to meet up and party some more with my college friends. Let's just say I wish I had taken the weekend to catch up on my sleep...but I still had an amazing time so no regrets.
Today was the first day of my medicine rotation...and I am already stressed out. I expected us to just have a quick orientation and then have the day off, but nope, we just dove right into our responsibilities. I guess doing pediatrics (especially pediatrics at a really chill place with a small number of patients) really spoiled me because the floor in medicine is a lot busier. I also realized that doing pediatrics put me in a mindset that most patients have one diagnosis, but I quickly realized that most of the patients on the medicine floor have ~10 comorbidities. I forgot that people can have diseases other than herpangina, gastritis, and asthma. I guess I just felt really lost because I'm not quite sure what I'm supposed to do on the floor, and all the superiors were too busy to explain things too. Hopefully it's quieter tomorrow so I can clarify things.
Even though I felt like I hardly did anything today, I pronounced the death of a patient for the first time ever. He wasn't even my patient, but the senior resident needed a witness so I volunteered. Supposedly the patient was in late stages of dementia and was well into his 80s, but just seeing the patient lie in bed, literally lifeless, was quite surreal. After checking the absence of a heartbeat, pulse, and pupillary reflex, the senior resident told me to look at my watch and just say it exactly like they do in the movies, "Time of death is so and so". Amidst all the chaos and stress, I was quickly brought back to earth to realize how short our lives are. I don't even think it's fully hit me that the patient died today, but I pray that he did not have to suffer through much, and that his family has made their peace with it too. I know I'm going to encounter a lot more deaths (hopefully none of them will be the result of my mistakes) in the future, but it's definitely gonna take time to get used to it.
Medicine really is a whole different world compared to peds. I won't color it too much for ya, but what you said is pretty accurate. My first patient who died was on medicine. My next patient on surgery.
ReplyDeleteI've found that it's not so much that the patients died, but rather the manner in which they die is more important.