So I finished my pediatrics rotations last week (with an incredibly hard shelf exam) and had a very very hectic weekend. I literally partied with my school friends from 2 pm till like 4 am on Friday, lost my voice afterwards, had to volunteer during the day on Saturday, and then went into the city Saturday night to meet up and party some more with my college friends. Let's just say I wish I had taken the weekend to catch up on my sleep...but I still had an amazing time so no regrets.
Today was the first day of my medicine rotation...and I am already stressed out. I expected us to just have a quick orientation and then have the day off, but nope, we just dove right into our responsibilities. I guess doing pediatrics (especially pediatrics at a really chill place with a small number of patients) really spoiled me because the floor in medicine is a lot busier. I also realized that doing pediatrics put me in a mindset that most patients have one diagnosis, but I quickly realized that most of the patients on the medicine floor have ~10 comorbidities. I forgot that people can have diseases other than herpangina, gastritis, and asthma. I guess I just felt really lost because I'm not quite sure what I'm supposed to do on the floor, and all the superiors were too busy to explain things too. Hopefully it's quieter tomorrow so I can clarify things.
Even though I felt like I hardly did anything today, I pronounced the death of a patient for the first time ever. He wasn't even my patient, but the senior resident needed a witness so I volunteered. Supposedly the patient was in late stages of dementia and was well into his 80s, but just seeing the patient lie in bed, literally lifeless, was quite surreal. After checking the absence of a heartbeat, pulse, and pupillary reflex, the senior resident told me to look at my watch and just say it exactly like they do in the movies, "Time of death is so and so". Amidst all the chaos and stress, I was quickly brought back to earth to realize how short our lives are. I don't even think it's fully hit me that the patient died today, but I pray that he did not have to suffer through much, and that his family has made their peace with it too. I know I'm going to encounter a lot more deaths (hopefully none of them will be the result of my mistakes) in the future, but it's definitely gonna take time to get used to it.
Monday, August 27, 2012
Thursday, August 16, 2012
Wow that was quick!
When I first started my peds rotation, I thought it would take forever to get through. I mean I know 8 weeks isn't a lot, but it does feel like a long time if you're dreading everyday. But as the days went by, I began to enjoy going to work more and more each day, and now, I only have ~4 more days of my rotation left. I've definitely definitely concluded that peds is not for me, but if I don't fall in love with any other specialty, I guess it's not a bad field to go into haha. I guess I'm really good at acting because all of the residents/attendings say that I'm really good with kids and that they can see me in peds...but little do they know how I really feel haha. The one bad thing about this rotation ending...is that now I have to study for the shelf exam I have to take next week. I keep hearing that it's the most difficult shelf and my goal for third year is to honors everything...so yea this should be an interesting week coming up. It also doesn't help that I'm just not a studious person by nature and I've definitely fallen behind.
In non-school related news (yes, I do have a life outside of school/rotations) I went to a wedding up in Boston this past weekend. It really got me thinking about my own wedding in the future and of course that started the whole "I really need to start dating and finding a boyfriend" mentality. I mean I know I'm still young right now but my friends who were getting married were 23/24 so...it just reminded me of the fact that I'm no where near getting married. I always thought when I was younger that I would be married at this time (yes to a girl) and that I would start having kids because I didn't want a large age gap between me and my kids. But I guess I didn't realize that at this age, I would be thousands of dollars in debt (which is growing) and still in school.
I've also been incredibly obsessed with the olympics and I'm sad that it's over (but sorta relieved cause I spent way too much time watching them). It also didn't help that there are so many good looking athletes out there.
Also, I've been very curious (? not sure if that's the right word) about hooking up randomly with guys I meet online. No, I've never actually done it, but it doesn't help that I just want a companion. I know I shouldn't expect much else from hookups, but a small part of me always thinks, what if I actually end up with the person I hook up with?. Yea it's a very naive way of thinking. Man, I really need to move to a city soon so I can actually meet random guys at bars (people still do that right? internet hasn't totally taken over?) and go through the whole process of getting to know someone else better...rather than having guys just look at each other's picture and wanting to hookup with them.
In non-school related news (yes, I do have a life outside of school/rotations) I went to a wedding up in Boston this past weekend. It really got me thinking about my own wedding in the future and of course that started the whole "I really need to start dating and finding a boyfriend" mentality. I mean I know I'm still young right now but my friends who were getting married were 23/24 so...it just reminded me of the fact that I'm no where near getting married. I always thought when I was younger that I would be married at this time (yes to a girl) and that I would start having kids because I didn't want a large age gap between me and my kids. But I guess I didn't realize that at this age, I would be thousands of dollars in debt (which is growing) and still in school.
I've also been incredibly obsessed with the olympics and I'm sad that it's over (but sorta relieved cause I spent way too much time watching them). It also didn't help that there are so many good looking athletes out there.
Also, I've been very curious (? not sure if that's the right word) about hooking up randomly with guys I meet online. No, I've never actually done it, but it doesn't help that I just want a companion. I know I shouldn't expect much else from hookups, but a small part of me always thinks, what if I actually end up with the person I hook up with?. Yea it's a very naive way of thinking. Man, I really need to move to a city soon so I can actually meet random guys at bars (people still do that right? internet hasn't totally taken over?) and go through the whole process of getting to know someone else better...rather than having guys just look at each other's picture and wanting to hookup with them.
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