So for those of you who've been reading this blog (yes i know, not many haha) you know that I am pretty comfortable with my sexual identity. I made the decision to come out two years ago after graduating college, and since then, I've become increasingly comfortable living in my own skin. I had no problem telling people in med school that I'm gay, and when people would ask, I wouldn't deny it.
But for the past month during rotations, I think I've been finding it harder to tell people that I'm gay. And by people I mean the people I work with. Of course my classmates with whom I rotate know, but none of the interns/residents/students from other schools/nurses know. So whenever they make a comment that assumes that I'm heterosexual (ie "oh you'll understand when you get a wife") I don't make an effort to correct them. I think underneath it all, I'm afraid of the fact that my superiors or the people I work are actually homophobic, so they'll treat me differently when they find out that I'm gay.
Is it wrong of me to not correct them and tell them that I'm gay? Am I not proud enough to declare my sexual identity? I guess I'm also frustrated that people automatically assume that I'm straight because I'm a guy who doesn't act or dress flamboyantly. As health care workers, shouldn't we be more sensitive? I mean, in med school, we're taught over and over again never to use questions like "do you have a husband/wife?" because it assumes the patient's sexual identity and can possibly make them uncomfortable. Well if that's the case, then shouldn't we apply this idea to everyday life? Maybe one day people will be more aware of these differences. And maybe one day, I'll be brave enough to correct others.
I've been reading your blog since the start, so you do have readers! Haha. I'm still closeted and will be starting med school this year so your post is something I think about a lot. You're a lot farther than me in both journeys.
ReplyDeleteIt's pretty ironic that med school is supposed to teach you to be sensitive to "diversity" yet as a student you constantly have to grapple with the possibility that an intolerant resident or physician could really have a negative impact on your career. I think you really have to judge each situation and think about how they would react if you told them you were gay.
Generally attitudes are shifting and I would guess that most people wouldn't care and would be apologetic if you corrected them. But it's up to you... you'll just have to think about how comfortable you are and whether you can deal with being silent and minimizing any career risk or whether you feel the need to show that you aren't ashamed of your identity. And then there's the question of when... as a med student, resident, attending? I struggle thinking about this too but I think you've already got the ball rolling by being out to your classmates.
You've probably seen this already... but I thought this was a pretty good article on what it's like being gay in medicine. His training days were more old school times, but it still shows you how being openly gay could put you in a difficult position:
http://commonhealth.wbur.org/2012/03/being-gay-in-medicine
Thanks for reading the blog!
DeleteYea I saw that article awhile ago and I'm definitely appreciative of the fact that things are different today (but it can still be better).
The other day, one of the residents was using the term gay in a negative way, you know the usual "oh that's so gay" when someone did something stupid....I really wanted to correct her but then I realized that she was my superior, so I kept my mouth shut. I hate having to compromise my beliefs for grades, but I guess it's just the situation I'm in right now.
I agree with you 100%. Fortunately, no one really talks like that here.
ReplyDeleteAnd now I've caught up on your entire blog to date (while I wait for UWorld Qbank to fix itself and fail at it all day, grrr) and left many comments. :-P
haha thanks! I've been trying to read your posts (the ones that go wayyyy back) but I def haven't caught up yet!
DeleteThanks for the advice! I guess it's something I'm very new to because I came out right before starting med school and everyone in med school already knew I was gay (so they wouldn't ask me those kinds of questions/have a heteronormative mindset). I guess my main concern stems from the fact that I am uncomfortable with the idea with my seniors (the ones who are determining my grade/writing my evaluations) know about my true identity, because I'm afraid that there's a chance they may be biased (and it will consciously/unconsciously reflect on my grade). Maybe when I know I'm not being evaluated I can make more of a stand?
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