Sandy, the homewrecker...and other updates (warning, long post)

So as most people across the nation know, the northeast was hit pretty hard by hurricane/tropical storm Sandy. I feel like a lot of people didn't take it too seriously before it hit because there was a lot of hype with hurricane Irene last year..and that wasn't as bad as people thought it would be. Unfortunately, Sandy hit hard, and I feel that a lot of people weren't prepared/expecting it (including myself). I found out late Sunday that my clinical duties for Mon/Tues were cancelled (I'm working in outpatient/primary care at an endocrinology clinic right now) so I was definitely happy cause I still need time to study for the ambulatory and internal med shelfs (standardized exams at the end of rotations). The rain/wind wasn't too bad Sunday night, and Monday morning, I even went to the gym so get a last minute workout in, just in case it wasn't open the following days (and there were actually a lot of people who were at the gym haha). In the afternoon, a few friends came over to study and chill, and at about 4 PM, all the power just went out. I really wasn't prepared because I had one candle, one flashlight, and a ton of (perishable) food in the fridge that I didn't anticipate going bad. I still kept on thinking that the power would come back soon..but it never happened. Turns out, most of LI lost power, the hospital lost power for a short period, which also meant no studying for awhile.

It definitely felt weird being isolated from the outside world with no internet/tv, not knowing really what was going on in the rest of the northeast region. Of course I was pretty antsy all night long, but it felt really good to just not care about anything, and instead, talk to friends and watch movies all night long. I ended up coming back home to queens yesterday cause my parents still had power, and I'm still waiting to see if I have work tomorrow (the clinic still doesn't have power). In the meantime, I'm enjoying some home cooked meals and getting some productive studying in.

The last time I updated, I was still on Internal Medicine (IM). I gotta say..I really enjoyed it. Yea it was a lot of work, and yea there were lots of pimping sessions (where attendings ask students tons of questions and put them on the spot), but I didn't mind it at all. I realized that I really enjoyed IM when I didn't mind staying till 8/9 PM for the shifts. I also realized that I really want to go into gastroenterology. I had a lot of exposure to the field during my rotation and got to see some cool procedures. It's supposed to be a competitive field so I'm trying to get a head start and become involved in some research, which has been hard to do with my third year schedule. One thing that I really hated about IM was the fact that grading seemed so subjective and based on luck. When I would get verbal feedback from my residents/attendings, they would tell me I'm doing a great job and wouldn't really tell me things I should improve on, but in the written evals that count towards my grade, they would only give me a pass or high pass...and some would tell me that they don't give out higher than high passes....Perhaps I'm being too whiny about this, but I know that I want to go into a fairly competitive program in NYC, and I know third year grades matter a lot (basically getting honors). So yea, I guess I just need to rock the hell out of the shelf exam to even have a shot at getting an honors in IM.

In regards to my dating life, it's still been nonexistent. Well not completely. I've been talking to a couple of guys online/texts and we were actually supposed to meet up this week, but due to the hurricane, had to cancel everything. And I guess everyone's priorities revolve around getting power back/cleaning things around/outside the house, so who knows when I'll go on another date. I also met a guy online who ended up coming over to my place (after we talked for weeks)...but I'll have to save that story for another time haha.

Wow that was quick!

When I first started my peds rotation, I thought it would take forever to get through. I mean I know 8 weeks isn't a lot, but it does feel like a long time if you're dreading everyday. But as the days went by, I began to enjoy going to work more and more each day, and now, I only have ~4 more days of my rotation left. I've definitely definitely concluded that peds is not for me, but if I don't fall in love with any other specialty, I guess it's not a bad field to go into haha. I guess I'm really good at acting because all of the residents/attendings say that I'm really good with kids and that they can see me in peds...but little do they know how I really feel haha. The one bad thing about this rotation ending...is that now I have to study for the shelf exam I have to take next week. I keep hearing that it's the most difficult shelf and my goal for third year is to honors everything...so yea this should be an interesting week coming up. It also doesn't help that I'm just not a studious person by nature and I've definitely fallen behind.

In non-school related news (yes, I do have a life outside of school/rotations) I went to a wedding up in Boston this past weekend. It really got me thinking about my own wedding in the future and of course that started the whole "I really need to start dating and finding a boyfriend" mentality. I mean I know I'm still young right now but my friends who were getting married were 23/24 so...it just reminded me of the fact that I'm no where near getting married. I always thought when I was younger that I would be married at this time (yes to a girl) and that I would start having kids because I didn't want a large age gap between me and my kids. But I guess I didn't realize that at this age, I would be thousands of dollars in debt (which is growing) and still in school.
I've also been incredibly obsessed with the olympics and I'm sad that it's over (but sorta relieved cause I spent way too much time watching them). It also didn't help that there are so many good looking athletes out there. 

Also, I've been very curious (? not sure if that's the right word) about hooking up randomly with guys I meet online. No, I've never actually done it, but it doesn't help that I just want a companion. I know I shouldn't expect much else from hookups, but a small part of me always thinks, what if I actually end up with the person I hook up with?. Yea it's a very naive way of thinking. Man, I really need to move to a city soon so I can actually meet random guys at bars (people still do that right? internet hasn't totally taken over?) and go through the whole process of getting to know someone else better...rather than having guys just look at each other's picture and wanting to hookup with them.

Gotta Impress...

Ive been on my peds rotation (my first rotation) for only 2 weeks and 2 days and I think the most important thing I've learned is that as a student, my job is to impress people. It's actually kinda sad, because at the end of the day, I don't really feel like I've accomplished the full extent to what my job entitles. I should explain...

Even before rotations started, I guess I was super eager to go around the hospital talking to patients and really helping people. Instead of doing this, I feel like I've been going around the hospital doing other tasks (getting lab results, printing out stuff, etc.). It's not like I have a choice in this because med students just have to do whatever the residents/interns tell them to do. Why? Because we're basically there to make a good impression. Unfortunately, most of our grades are based on the subjective opinions of our superiors. I feel like there's so much luck involved (if you get assigned a nice resident who's generous with grades..then you're pretty much set. if not...then too bad), of which I am not a fan. I understand that doing all the bitch work is a part of learning the system, but I guess I'm disappointed by the end of the day when I've only gotten to speak to my patient for a total of like 10-15 minutes during the day.

I'm just hoping that this is only true because I just started third year, or because I'm at a sub-par teaching hospital for peds. All I'm asking for is more patient interaction and less having my guard up the entire day, waiting for residents to be around so I can try and please them.