Halfway Through

I can't believe spring break is already half over. I guess I lost a day by coming to Korea (flight + time difference) but it still feels like it's flown by.
I do need some time to reflect on my trip so far and hopefully writing it down will help.
So far, I've been spending a lot of time with family. The day I arrived, my entire mom's side gathered together for dinner. It was actually the first time in my life that we (all my cousins, aunts and uncles) got together at one place, which was a good feeling. I haven't seen some of these people since I was in the 6th grade...so I guess 12 years ago? Damn time flies. They were all commenting on how I don't look like a boy anymore (I guess that means I look old now haha) and how they were all surprised by much more proficient in Korean I became (when I was younger, I only knew simple phrases).
While interacting with my family, I couldn't stop thinking about how different my life would be if my family had never immigrated to the states. Would I still be in med school? Would I be able to accept my true identity and come out? I think about these for a couple of reasons. Everyone in my family, even my cousins who work now, lead very humble lives. Most of them didn't get to go to college, and don't have jobs that pay too well. It's not that my family members aren't smart enough, but most of them didn't have time to study so that they could support each other. High school here is also extremely cutthroat, so if you weren't the best of the best, you didn't really stand a chance of going to a worthwhile college. I'm looking forward to the day when I'm able to come back to Korea while having a stable job as a physician (hopefully) and be able to buy my family members things.
I also have yet to see a single gay couple here. Maybe I'm hanging out in the wrong/conservative areas but I think Koreans in general aren't too receptive of gays here so...everyone's just in the closet. It's also extremely difficult to tell if anyone is gay because all the guys here dress very...metrosexually? Everyone wears super super tight skinny jeans and have handbags. Maybe in a decade Koreans will get more open minded.
Finally, spending time in Korea has made me realize just how lonely I am and just how much I want a boyfriend. When I visited jeju island for the past 3 days, all I noticed around me were couples. Couples in Korea are also super super pda-advocates. Everyone wears matching clothes and try to do cutesy things in public. I'm not the biggest fan of PDA but I would like to do some things with my boyfriend in the future.

Back to the Motherland

My spring break starts on Friday, but since there aren't any mandatory classes (I've stopped going to non-mandatory classes last year haha) I've decided to start my spring break early. The destination this year...Korea. I haven't visited since I was 18 (~5 years ago?) so I'm excited to go back. Even though I'm only going to be there for 9-10 days, I'm still looking forward to it. It's a family vacation because it's my grandmother's 80th birthday, so I don't expect to do any fun nightlife stuff, but I am looking forward to the relaxation (even though I have finals again when I get back) and allll the good food. I do wish I could explore the gay scene in Korea (but then again, I haven't even explored the gay scene in NY) but I don't think it would be such a good idea since I don't really know anyone in Korea and my family (other than my sister) does not know about my sexuality. Here's to my last vacation before intense boards studying begins!